Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I have fence marks all over my body
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize