She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
They took my balls.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
