Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Can i not drive my cunt home
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
