i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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