So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize