Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
