I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
