I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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