my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
