i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
