it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
