how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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