It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
