she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
