Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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