i already hear my dad disowning me
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
