Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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