Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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