My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
