Do you still have your period?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
They have beer where we have blood.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
