Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
