i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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