And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
