So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
even my farts smell like vagina
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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