i would one night stand the shit outta him
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
