Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
