grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
They have beer where we have blood.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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