well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
