ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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