i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
