"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
