As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
