You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
pray to the hookup gods
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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