this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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