whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
