Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize