i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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