i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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