My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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