what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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