i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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