i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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