forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
