How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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