she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
