Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
