Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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