Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
