do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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