Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
