apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.