ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.