drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize