big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
