I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
