do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it was like eating out sand paper
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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