"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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