I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
