So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
