Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
