every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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