when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
