The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
