Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Farmville is her only friend.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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