Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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