The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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