There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
