He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
