were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
not ubering you a puppy
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
