sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
