Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
