There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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