Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she smelled like a LAN party
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
