Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
